The Blobfish That Was Beautiful to Me

I've decided that among all my random ideas for pieces to devise, I've decided that the most attractive project would be on the ugliest of subjects:

Oh, just look at it.

For those not in the know, that gorgeous little specimen is called a Blobfish. There are a bunch of fucking weird things in the ocean, but this one takes the cake for me. They are rarely seen by humans due to the fact they live live deep under the water, off the shores of Tasmania and Victoria right here in Australia. How lucky are we!? Dubbed as "the world's most miserable looking fish" by the London's Daily Telegraph, the Blobfish have no bones because they live hundreds of miles under the surface, where the pressure is so great if they had bones they would be pulverized. Shit man, I'm not even sure if they can swim - they're inedible because they're made out of a mass of gelatinous material which has a density that's slightly less than water, which lets them bob along the ocean floor without exerting any energy. This way they can just float along with their mouths open, eating whatever passes in front.

Lest you ever encounter a floating Blobfish, it would simply devour you whole. Apparently they also make an active effort to consume shellfish such as crabs, but looking at their track-record I find this unlikely, probably just a scandalous rumor concocted to besmirch the untainted reputation of the benevolent Blobfish. The pressing matter is that the Blobfish are currently facing extinction due to deep-sea trawling. They're farmed accidentally in the same areas where lobsters, the arguably better looking species, are harvested. I'm not sure what the rate of reproduction between Blobfish are, but rolls of gelatinous mass couldn't be getting it on too often. Numbers are diminishing, and it's not known if these fish live anywhere else except Australia. Our time is running out!

The look, the sadness in his eyes. Unhappiness can be seductive, but probably not in this case.

Yes, okay, on the first impression they're hideous. Disgusting, fuck ugly monsters. But what an assumption to make to say they're all the same! In the comment sections of news reports across the Internet, these unique creatures have attracted a wall of hateful responses. There is so much potential and content to discuss when it comes to Blobfish. Perhaps a good old fashioned allegory on judging based on appearance? An uplifting tale about self-discovery and finding individuality? Just something to raise awareness about their dreadful plight? I know this entire article has a hint of sarcasm, but I'm serious about raising awareness. These may be grotesque creatures, but their threat of extinction is very real.

I don't know how, but this blogpost has convinced me that this will definitely happen (probably for Capillaries next year?). But to end, I noticed this remarkable discovery. Someone get Dead Puppet Society on the phone, I need to point this out. That's a snapshot of the fat version of Victor Blott from Dead Puppet Society's 2009 show Victor Blott - A Desire to Rot. You may not have noticed it quite so quickly, but if stick eyebrows on our charming gelatinous relations... what do we have here?!

My. God.

The resemblance is uncanny; collaboration is imminent.

But seriously, if anyone in the Brisbane region is keen to help get this ridiculous idea moving, send me a message on Facebook. I think we could be on to something.